Autobiography of a Defect

Hello Nerds and Geeks and the ordinary. This is the DEFECT speaking. You may also know me by my other names like Bug, Error, Fault and so on. For some of you I am a small inconvinience and for some their worst nightmare. From the early days of huge mainframes I have been the number one on the most wanted list and has been living my life as a hunting target for decades. But now the time has come when the world must listen to the truth behind the veils.

I have been called by different name and all of them have been bad. But have you ever realised or even cared to think about me. Do you know where I was before you forced me to live in your code - waiting to be found, discussed, ignored, humiliated and killed. I am an unwelcomed entity but is forced to live in your requirements, code, network and many other places unheard of, just because of your misunderstanding, lack of knowledge or simple laziness.

What you dont realise is that ultimately I am blamed for all your follies. I am the first one to take blame for all the money lost in business. A plane crashed because there was a defect, money transaction was not complete because some idiot did'nt do his job properly. I dont like staying in your code but was invited, ignored and then blamed. Is this correct? I want justice!

Life was so cool before I was inserted into the code. After that I am living a life of misery - waiting in anticipation to be found, broken into pieces, discussed in meeting rooms and calls and ultiamtely killed. I try to give you hints about my presence in the code but ignore me in log files, you ignore me when I make your system slow. This only makes me more stronger and harder. And by the time you have noticed me I have done the damage. Many a times you just take a short cut and change my looks instead of killing me. You break me into pieces hoping that you have cured us, but alas this makes us more dangerous as now each of us are capable of doing more damage single handedly.

Dumped between millions of lines of code I wait for my rescuers - Testers. These are the guardian angels who have the power to excavate me from the deepest of codes. But now a days these angels have not been spared. They have been converted to automated robots who rather than finding me they follow some predefined steps. It is like you are thrown into a sea and a rescue boat is only following the route given to them and they ignore your desparate plea for help.

I am not a selfish guy and I will be very happy if you find me, discuss me meaningfully and make a conscious effort to remove me from the code so that your application works clean and everyones happy. As long as you have accessed the risk associated with me satying in the code, I can live there happily.

Please, I have no intention of mine to stay in your code or system. I am happy outside, so don't invite me. Some of us are bit naughty and will slip into your code uninvited. For those naughty defects, support our saviors - the testers to find me and not just create a robot to follow fixed steps. Remember, I am a defect buried in your code and waiting for you to find me. Please be aware of my presence and keep your eyes open.

Waiting to be found -

Yours DEFECT :)

Hilarious IT Cartoon

Wo Dekho Ek Software Engineer Jaa Raha Hai

This is a tribute to all Software Engineers. I got this beautiful poem buried among a huge stock of forwarded mails in my inbox.

“WO DEKHO EK SOFTWARE ENGINEER JAA RAHA HAI”

Apne project ke bojh tale daba jaa raha hai,

Wo dekho ek software engineer ja raha hai.


Zindagi se hara hua hai,

Par Bugs se haar nahi manta.

Apne application ki ek ek line ise rati hui hai,

Par aaj kaun se rang ke moje pehne hain, ye nahi janta.

Din par din ek excel file banata ja raha hai,

Wo dekho ek software engineer ja raha hai.


Das hazaar line ke code main error dhoond lete hain lekin,

Majboor dost ki ankhon ki nami dikhayi nahi deti.

Pc pe hazaar windows khuli hain,

Par dil ki khidki pe koi dastak sunayi nahi deti.

Week days ko nahata nahi, satuday-sunday ko naha raha hai,

Wo dekho ek software engineer ja raha hai.


Coding karte karte pata hi nahi chala,

Bugs ki priority kab maan-baap se high ho gayi.

Kitabon me gulab rakhne wala , cigerette ke dhuyen main kho gaya,

Dil ki zameen se armaanon ki vidayi ho gayi.

Weekends pe daroo peke jo jashna mana raha hai,

Wo dekho ek software engineer ja raha hai.


Maze lena ho iske to pooch lo,

Salary Increment ki party kab dila rahe ho.

Hansi udana ho to pooch lo,

Onsite kab ja rahe ho?

Wo dekho onsite se laute team-mate ki chocolates kha raha hai,

Wo dekho ek software engineer ja raha hai.


Kharche badh rahe hain,

Baal kam ho rahe hain.

Savings hoti nahi,

Income Tax ke sitam ho rahe hain.

Lo phir se bus choot gayi, auto se office aa raha hai,

Wo dekho ek software engineer ja raha hai.


Pizza gale se nahi utarta,

To Coke ke sahare nigal liya jata hai.

Office ki "Thali" dekh munh hai bigadta,

Maa ke hath ka wo khana baar roz yaad ata hai.

"Sprout bhel" bani hai phir bhi, free "Evening Snacks" kha raha hai,

Wo dekho ek software engineer ja raha hai.


Aapne ab tak li hongi bahut si chutikiya,

Software engineer ke jivan ka sach batati ye akhri kuch panktiyan.


Hazaron ki tankhwah wala, company ki karodon ki jeb bharta hai,

Software engineer wahi ban sakta hai, jo lohe ka jigar rakhta hai.

Hum log jee jee ke marte hain, zindagi hai kuch aisi,

Ek fauj ki naukri, doosri software engineer ki, dono ek jaisi.

Is kavita ka har shabd mere dil ki gehrayi se aa raha hai,

Wo dekho ek software engineer ja raha hai...